I really enjoyed the article and get a real sense that you are on to something here. But, I feel that the article would benefit from restructuring and gaining a real sense of clarity. In one way, I love the writing style, it is informal and reactive, almost in the same way that QuaraTrain emerged from an unpredictable, unprecedented and almost unreal way! On the other way, it can come across as disorganised and the tenses appear to be mixed up which throws the reader around somewhat.
I have attached more detailed feedback but, in summary, I really like the heart of this paper and feel that it should be ‘out there’ – but at the same time, I feel it would benefit from refinement, polish and more coherence.
I hope this feedback is helpful and I am more than happy to work to get this right![jetpack-related-posts]